Life's Rich Tapestry: July 2007

Monday, July 30, 2007

TMI

A couple of weeks ago mother picked up some tampons at a knock down price. I noticed on Friday that they were as large as a roomy canal boat, 'super super plus' size. It's been like a three hourly cruise missile launch ever since.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Good lord, I literally AM edible.

So there I was, hanging out of my bedroom window having a ciggy yapping on the phone to Rach, completely naked, (there are only fields behind me), when I suddenly hear male voices in the darkness, even though I had no lights on, I still panicked that someone would see me, so I let myself drop backwards on top the bed to hide, landing straight on.................................... A huge slice of Banoffee pie. I had a perfect triangle of cream and caramel on my right shoulder blade.

It was a bugga to get off, I couldn't reach it with my hands. I could have done with an extra long tongue. Rach kept harping on about wastage of good food, I offered for her to come round and lick it off if she was that bothered, strangely enough she didn't take me up on the offer.

Off to see Harry Potter tonight, that's very original and individual of me isn't it. Not my choice I may add.

I have obviously pulled out of holidaying with my brother and his girlfriend, he drove down to the coast last night rather narked and disappointed with me as he is desperate for his girlfriend and I to 'bond' apparently. I just don't feel comfortable leaving the parents at the moment, they are having 'problems'. I've been getting tearful phone calls from my mother and I don't think there has been a time in the last week when she hasn't got upset when the two of us have been alone. Considering the current circumstances this makes me very sad, but I guess these type of situations can put pressure on a relationship.

As for my brother, I've tried putting across my reason for letting him down, only to be met with pouts and mutters. He'll get over it, poor baby.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Does this face look bov'verd?

He he he *snort* har *snort* squeeee!

Who sir? Me sir? Pissed again sir? No sir!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Swimmingly Swimmy

I'm not a big drinker. At most I have alcohol half a dozen times a year, only a couple of those times will I drink enough to feel ill the next day.

In my younger years I was known as Jilly the fish due to the extraordinary amount I could knock back, drinking most of my male friends under the table, whilst remaining completely dignified and still able to walk in 5 inch stilettos without causing my tibia to snap right out of its shin, but something happens as we get older, our bodies take longer to recover from a poisoned liver, leaving us feeling fragile for a good 24 hours longer than we did 10 years ago, (and whilst we are on the subject of the older body, what's acid indigestion all about? Why did I spend the first 35 years of my life thinking that anybody who couldn't survive a day without a Rene was a big girls blouse who needed to stop eating so many pickled onions, only to find myself rifling through the draws at 2am looking for anything that will stop my esophagus melting?)..

anyway, as I was saying..

I haven't felt the need to drink for a good 5 years now, I will partake on special occasions, or when it's just easier to give in than have your friends take the piss out of you every time you order a ginger beer and I certainly don't buy or keep alcohol in my house, I've never seen the point of drinking alone..

..until now. Is it a slippery slope from here? Does the genre of beverage entitle one to private tennis lessons from Rupert Diddly-Smyth followed by tea on the lawn sporting ones best Ascot hat dahling? Might I be a tad pissed right this very minute? Will you keep it under your hat that I read Heat magazine?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Who ate all the..

Oh dear, the hour I put aside to read blogs and do an entry went here, closely followed by here. Why must the Internet be so distracting? Both links are stolen from blogs I read, so it's not like it was my choice to get side tracked you understand.

I have a little annoyance, (yes, only one, shut up) .... STOP BUYING THE 'UMBRELLA ELLA ELLA ELLA ELLA' SONG FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! 10 weeks at number 1 is 11 weeks to many.... or something, maths lessons went totally over my head, except those about pi, for obvious reasons. I wouldn't care, only it's not even a decent song, it would have been a whole lot less painful for the world if she had just let the guy get wet.

This was taken right after he told me the ugly lady opposite bought him some out of date chocolates and just before he said Peggy from the church needs to eat nothing but lettuce or her fatty backside is going to get her wedged in the doorway she's always nosing from . Such a charmer.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Oh, wow, look, a blog! (and don't judge my grammer, I'm totally fucked!)

News is good here. After being certain we would lose Dad last Wednesday and Thursday, I can hardly believe that I have just left him sat up in bed drinking a nutrition drink!

Dad has done brilliantly in the last couple of days and we are hoping to have him home within the next few days.

The Palliative care team are currently setting up care at home, mainly a daily nurse visit and then it should be all go.

It seems they simply can not tell us 'how long' he has, Carcinoid is so rare and has a mind of its own that it's anyones guess really. He has started a daily injection of a drug that helps with his symptoms, which should give him a better quality of life and he is on slow release and liquid morphine to control the pain, he has a few bed sores and a couple of other nasty conditions that I won't go into, you know how shy men are about their bits! But these are only temporary hopefully.

So, we are going to make the most of everyday and live only for that day, first mission is to try and build up his strength and if we are very lucky, possibly put a little weight on him, mum and I are stood by with our spoons!

It is his birthday tomorrow, but he has asked us to postpone it until he is feeling a little stronger and won't sleep through the whole thing lol.

I should be back posting in the new few days, no more daily trips to the hospital thank goodness. I did have a holiday booked for the end of this month, but not sure if I will be going or not yet, we shall see how things go.

Love to everyone, thank you so much for your support, you're all diamonds!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Update on Dad

We have confirmation that it is definately carcinoid and Dad has become increasingly poorly over the last 24 hrs. The best hope is to get his pain and other symptons under control so that he can come home, but it is highly likely that this may not happen, it maybe that he will not improve at all/or enough to leave hospital.

His specialist team meet next Monday and will discuss if there are any treatments that might give him a better quality of life, we simply do not know if that is possible or not at the moment.

Also, unfortunately, Grandad was taken into hospital this afternoon, we are not 100% sure what the problem is, we will hopefully know more in the next couple of days.

Missing you all tons, I will try and get on here again soon, but as you can imagine its pretty difficult at the moment, especially with Grandad being ill also, I honestly dont know how I'm managing to function, but I am fairly well thankfully.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Leave a message after the tone...

..... beeeeeep.

I'm sorry, Jilly isn't available right now, she has been 'living' at the hospital since Monday when her father was emergency admitted due to malnutrition and dehydration. In the last 48 hours both herself and her mother have shouted at a nurse, (using the word fuck) and made a formal complaint about an incompetent care assistant and also an infectious patient who was not sufficiently quarantined, they are most certainly the most hated relatives this particular ward have ever known. Her father will be having an operation on Thursday of this week, one that the specialists have been trying to avoid due to the risk for such a weak body, therefore Jilly will be unavailable for a few days due to shitting her pants.

ps, if you are ringing from absolutely any type of company that uses telesales, you can stick the receiver up your anus. Thank you.

.....beeeeeep.

Life's Rich Tapestry

TMI