What Rocks? What Sucks?
What Sucks
The NHS, I don't care what people say about how privileged we are because it's free, (taxes d'oh!), I would rather sell all my internal organs to pay for care that treats my father like a human being. I have had a LOT to do with the medical profession on both sides of the coin and I have NEVER seen somebody treated so fucking disgustingly as Dad has been the last week, Taliban kidnappers would treat their captives better than that, he has been left to starve, dehydrate, freeze, sit in his own waste and vomit, propped up in a chair and left for 7 hours whilst exposed to all and sundry and yes, I'm taking the matter all the way to the top and if you don't agree with my opinion then keep quiet, cos I swear to god, I will set my guinea pig on your throat. (Angry? Much?)
I am still sick, well, I'm not so sure I'm actually sick sick, but more showing signs of stress physically rather that mentally. I can feel fine one minute, then talk to mum or dwell too much about Dad and BOOM, I'm suddenly violently throwing up, shaking and sweating. Resting has not helped, I've had one night of sleep in 5 days (6 hours), so I'm going back to being with him from tomorrow, I sleep better when I've been around him and I have the rest of my life to be sick, I don't have the rest of my life to be with Dad.
That I was finally offered a bungalow but it's not the right time, if it was exactly what I wanted I would probably go for it, but it would be settling for second best in so many ways.
Western Electricity Distribution. I've had more power cuts in the last week than I would have if living in the mountains of Bolivia. There are huge holes in the road everywhere and the constant drilling, oh my god the drilling, *brrrrrrrrrrrrrr* *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* fucking *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!*
What Rocks
All the loving from the internet, thank you guys, you rock my socks.
The Hospice dad transferred to this morning. It's like a hotel. Lovely room with en suite, private patio doors and patio area, beautiful gardens full of rabbits, birds and deer. The most amazing nursing care giving with complete compassion and buckets of TLC. A doctor who sits down and actually talks openly, asking the patient and family what they need and promising to deliver it. Edible food, of which they will cook Dad whatever he wants to encourage him to eat, nothing is too much to ask. Reclining chairs in his bedroom for mum and I, a relatives kitchen with supplies to help ourselves too.
Synchronised crying on the phone with mum in relief. We can finally leave dad at the end of the day and know he is being treated with the respect a human being should, I just can't describe how comforted that makes me feel.
Receiving the most lovely personal email from Radio 1 DJ Edith Bowman on behalf of herself and her partner, the lead singer of the band Editors. The most touching surprise I've had in a long long time. Thank you my darling, you know who you are xx
Gaining an obsession with very loud t shirts and being able to justify ordering them online in the bucket loads because "I'm grieeeeving Mr Bank Manager, greeeeeiving, if I don't have that electric blue one with the pink splashes of paint, then I will curl up in the corner of your office and rock manically, where's your compassion?! Give me some money!!"
Wearing said t shirts when seeing Rach, simply because you know how much she hates them and there's nothing like embarrassing your best mate in public.
Getting a three hour guided tour of London by phone. She was alone and in fear of being mugged, (we live in secluded Somerset, anywhere further than Bristol is on par with Colombia). I got a plastic Beef Eater out of the favour.
Not being able to eat anything without throwing up, drastic I know, but oh so much less effort than a diet. Don't lecture me, I'm not being serious, it's a bad, bad thing .........kinda.
Will you look at that, more Rocks than Sucks, that's gotta be improvement!
