"Om mane padme om"
Firstly, let's push this sentimental shit down shall we. Secondly a heart felt thank you for your comments, I don't feel quite so much of a bitch anymore.
I'm still on the phone an average of 3 hours a day to both my brother and mother, listening and making sure to give all the comforting responses to their individual problems. Oh and also the neighbours have turned nasty, there's nothing like having them repetitively slamming their door shut so aggressively that my pin board falls off the wall, or finding it difficult to have a conversation on the phone because their rap crap music is purposely deafening, or being nervous about leaving the house because you know a barrage of verbal abuse will be screamed at you from a window, not to mention your visitors being screamed at also. Happy days. And now I will talk about something positive, you know, to balance the equation.
Last night I attended meditation and although I have been going for some time now, I still don't quite know what to make of it. I mean there is no doubt that it is relaxing, the coffee and chat with the group afterwards is enjoyable and the group leaders adorable dog is worth attending alone, but I can clearly see that I am not the most promising pupil.
During the visualization section, we were taken into a beautiful valley, where we were asked to follow a stream until we came upon a glistening lake surrounded by Celtic symbols, (not to hard so far, I am the day dreamer of all hard core day dreamers), where we meet a raven-haired beauty, kind and gentle, (probably volunteers in a soup kitchen) and welcoming. So in my head, there I am, stood in front of a Nicole Kidman look-a-like waiting for my next instruction....
"I'm going to leave you with her for a while, spend your time together wisely"
*Blankness* Ooook, um.. Hello? Do you come here often?
So she's staring at me and I'm staring at her and I have absolutely no idea what we are meant to be doing.
After 10 minutes of trying to imagine something ground breaking, but failing miserably, I have all but given up and am now deep in thought contemplating which knickers to go for when next in Marks and Sparks, the raven beauty, sadly all but forgotten.
I decide to marginally open my eyes, curious as to whether the rest of the group are away with the fairies, or like me, have more important things on their mind and see I am the only one obviously not taking this seriously enough. I feel a fraud.
Snapping my eyes shut again, I screw up my face and try with all my might to imagine something, anything, and then, like the parting of the Red Sea, the magic begins.
The Raven-haired girl and I start to leap and jump and spin and laugh, I feel no pain, and I am able to move effortlessly gliding high into the air, with each landing softer and gentler than before. I feel the sun on my face and my body's total cooperation. I can sprint as fast and graceful as a giraffe and it feels nothing but wonderful.
After awhirlwindd 20 minutes, the session comes to an end and I am immediately aware of feeling almost completely unburdened and wholly optimistic. Apparently I have broken through the 'meditation barrier'. I've finally succeeded in finding my spiritual self.
Now we will go round the room and I want each individual to share the message, they received from the future during the meditation.........
Rose?
To find it within myself to forgive.
Tessa?
To learn to love my failures.
Jilly?
White cotton, pack of 5?
It appears I may have some way to go.
