Sensible for a change
I didn't go in today. I woke up this morning and knew straight away that there wasn't a cat in hells chance I would make it to the hospital, so I made the executive decision to rest instead.
It was the right decision to make, I knew I wasn't safe to drive and the thought of going through a whole day without rest made me cry and I couldn't get a picture of Mount Everest out of my head. Me stood at the base looking up this looming, jagged, unforgiving monster of rock and I didn't think twice about not looking for the first crack to climb, I just knew it was humanly impossible.
I dragged myself around all day feeling light headed, wobbly bodied and sick with stabbing stomach pains. I hoovered, I washed, I tidied trying to gain some kind of control of the mess that was my flat? Or my life? until finally, at 2pm, I could stand no more and went to bed. I slept for 2 blissful hours, I can't remember the last time I slept that peacefully.
I'm now in bed, freshly bathed (my god it was heaven. My muscles orgasmed), fed, 2 week old scabby nail varnish removed, nails filed, feet slathered in lotion, teeth flossed. I have been seriously neglecting myself, I had no idea just how bad of a state I was in, or how greasy my hair was when not washed for 3 days!
I'm going to settle down to watch Most Haunted online, catch up with my YouTube friends and answer some of the bazillion emails festering in my inbox and I hope that when I wake tomorrow, I feel some kind of energy and peace coursing through my veins. I don't expect miracles, but a slight reminder of normality would be gratefully received.
The Gamble of Life.
