By the skin of my teeth
I stupidly Twittered that I was going to blog everyday and was heartily laughed at by certain people, (you know who you are!), so here I am, 11.40pm, blogging.... about....something or another..... anything, frankly.
I fell into a frenzy of organisation today. Somehow, I managed to volunteer myself to provide all the food for 12 people on Boxing Day, most of which will need preparing that very morning, which means no getting pissed on Christmas Day because I have to be up a stupid 0'clock. You see THIS is why the gap between my bright ideas and my mouth opening needs to be widened in order for my brain to register that delayed thought of, what the fuck was I just thinking? Phew that was a close one.
This is rather taking on more than one can chew for someone who struggles to boil an egg and I also think I may have scared the bejesus out of my family, who are too terrified of my defensive stubbornness to suggest that, maybe I have an idea above my station and should retract my offer by gum. My shopping list already only caters for 9, because I can tell you right now that my brother values his missus, child and himself far too much to take the risk and they will all go down with some mysterious illness that very morning and, oh what a shame, are just going to have to cancel. Which would be a sad because I forgot to tell them that I am cheating and only buying foods that need to be taken out of the box and bunged in the oven for 15 minutes, a la quiche and sausage rolls etc, and I probably won't divulge this information, because putting them into an awkward uncomfortable sweat for 2 weeks is a secret payback for many a time they have humiliated me in public by loudly exclaiming, she could burn water.
I say one and all, this joyous time of year just brings the evil out in me. What fun!
And now I must disappear in a puff of smoke before the clock strikes midnight and I have failed my vow before it has begun.
