Recycled Pubescent Gibes
If my soup where served in a restaurant it would be become the customers firm favourite, according to my brother. My brother doesn't often say nice things to me, brothers being brothers and all, so not only was I astounded by the compliment, but may have got ideas above my station when goog1ing Gordon Ramsey's La Noisette menu.
"Pan seared diver scallop, cauliflower purée and ruby grapefruit Grenobloise"
"I could do that, posh food just sounds posh, I mean that's basically just a fried winkle, liquidized cauliflower and grapefruit segments on a Rich Tea, how hard can that be?!"
"It's all in the presentation"
"Don't let them fool you, all you need is minuscule cube size portions placed next to a question mark shaped dollop of treacle, a tea towel slung meaningfully over the shoulder, concentrated wiping of already clean plate rims and a spatula periodically pelted in the general direction of a junior chef accompanied by an angry sentence containing the words 'fuck', 'fucked' or fucking'.
"You would struggle with the minuscule portions"
"Fuck off"
