Rita Hayward gave good face.
Has anyone ever heard Madonna's daughter speak? Whilst listening to the radio this morning I heard Lourdes, or Lola as she is known, being briefly interviewed at last nights Harry Potter premiere. Honest to god, that child could give the Queen a run for her money. Hell she made Hugh Grant sound like a member of the Eastenders cast.
I suppose, living half her life in London, I would expect a hint of an English accent just like her mother, But my lord, Lola is practically Prince Charles on helium...
"Oh yaars, mummies books are jolly good too, but I just adore Harry Potter, I've read them all you know, my absolute favourite character being Ron, he is incredibly witty. Spiffing".
Not that I'm knocking it of course, as well as posh, the kid sounded intelligent, confident and well mannered. I wonder if she has ever seen a video of 'The Blonde Ambition Tour' 1988? I was there, at Wembley and I could tell her a thing or two about how blue the air was that night, not to mention the masturbating scene, who the hell said Madonna couldn't act?! She would be a hormonal teenager by the time she chanted enough 'Hail Mary's' to feel comfortable enough to look her mother in the eye again.
It was a great concert by the way; I was 18 and utterly in awe of this strong, risky, ball breaking female. I broke into a pouted lipped 'Vogue' dance at every available opportunity.
It was so good in fact, that when my work colleague pretended to pass out just before the encore*, I just left her there, slumped on the floor, getting her head trampled on by a dozen lycra wearing dancing queens, who had come to worship their gay icon. I was getting into the groove, until some random guy shouted, "your friend, your friend". I tried to ignore him, I really did, but he was insistent that she was going to get hurt. "But what about meeee, if I miss the encore I will be even hurteeeeer!". I finally relented and ended up listening to 'Holiday' from the back of a St John's ambulance, it just didn't have the same affect somehow.
*(She was as screwed up as they come and believe me, she WAS pretending, I had seen it a hundred times before, amongst a zillion other pretend dramas).
So, 'that' work colleague, whom I briefly flat shared with, spent a pretty long stretch in jail for major fraud in the 90's. (And we are talking major, as in, on the front of the national newspapers major). She wasn't what she seemed, myself, my possessions and my finances learnt that the hard way and looking back, I sure as hell wish I hadn't listened to that well meaning guy and carried on Voguing all over her sorry arse. Or maybe even done the running man, yeah the running man would have been good.
But back to Lola. Life can't be easy having the mother you have kid. But from what I heard of you today, seems mum's doing a pretty good job. One thing though, kinda in connection with her new video. I hope when you get in of an afternoon, you are not met with the sight of mummy in a pink leotard, one leg behind her head, whisking up your after school milkshake, cos if you are? you seriously need to have a word.
