They should change the month name to Snotuary
Today has been taken up by three activities, a) much like two thirds of the population, blowing nose and heavy mouth breathing, b) talking in every pitch and volume to get my voice to sound anything other than that of a pubescent boys mating call, c) plucking up the courage to guess how to use the new steam cleaner which arrived minus it's instruction booklet without causing third degree burns to myself and possibly my neighbours. I did come up with an ingenious plan though, one which I may be forced to carry out tomorrow. Simply stick the steamer nozzle as far up a nostril as possible then switch onto Super Snot Evaporation Mode. Of course if I had the bloody instructions I wouldn't have to guess which symbol on the dial that represents, but it seems I have no other option than to play 'pin the tail on the donkey' with the settings, brace myself and hope I don't blow my nose clean off, which would be a great shame as I happen to think it's my best feature.
This link is stolen from 'Diary of a London cokehead' because it entertained me for a full ten minutes. You do have to provide your own enlarged pupil trance like voguing though, which proved no problem after a couple of false starts, I guess those long nights of losing yourself in a random warehouse or field never leave you completely. Happy trippin'.
