The Mary Magdalen Mentality
A look of eye rolling amusement has been plastered on my face the entirety of the last 7 days. I've done my up most to hide it from all and sundry in fear of getting the crap kicked out of me, the English are currently volatile and many a temper frayed.
Our nation's behaviour is so unbelievably predictable, year after year, event after event, experience after experience, non-of which are ever learnt from. We have a fascination with the 'all or nothing' concept, the most pointedly at the moment being...
Tim Henman - What do you mean you were once top 5? We don't give a flying fuck that you are the best Tennis player we have had in over 30 years, THAT is not good enough old boy.
We don't care that you hail from a little island where sports, particularly tennis, are not flooded with funding and opportunities. See us give a shit about the fact that you have served this country tiresomely for 20 years? No, we don't, because you didn't win Wimbledon, yet again, which makes you a blithering idiot who has failed at life and should be marched a front of that green and purple logo and stoned by the nation, only with tennis balls, until you are 'Aced' and 'Drop Shot' to death.
England Football Team - You didn't bring home the cup. Tossers! Never mind that you were never going too in the first place because you WERE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. No, we are in denial of that fact, because we are English and if you fail to achieve the impossible dream, then you all deserve to be strung up from the goal post by your testicles. Oh but that's right, you don't have testicles, because you ONLY got to the quarterfinal. How very dare you!
Andy Murray - So what if you are only 19? Who cares if this is only your 2nd Wimbledon? Or that playing on centre court, being the only Brit left in, might, maybe, could be, slightly nerve racking? Or that no one ever expected you to beat Andy Roddick and we should be bloody proud of you for that? You didn't win Wimbledon; you should have your bum fluff excuse for facial stubble burnt, follicle by tiny follicle. Nancy boy!
So you see what I am saying here? I always said we wouldn't win either of these sporting events, that I just hoped we did as well as we could do, but was scathingly accused of settling for less. Are we the only nation that expects so much? That relishes on building up to cruelly and viciously tear down? No wonder we are always so fucking miserable, we are always disappointed, we just use the weather as a bloody excuse.
Yesterday I thought it best to take my smugness to a far away place were my nose was most likely to stay unbroken, Exmoor National Park, were I had much fun and a scrummy pub lunch. Not an England shirt or flag in sight. Hurrah.
New lame arse video in the sidebar, sorry folks, I'll try to do better, don't stone me to death. Please?
